While filming my documentary Unstoppable, Aaron Lieber, our friend and the film’s director, captured some sweet moments of Adam and I sharing Our Love Story. Today I want to share some more of that conversation related to our courtship.
What is “courtship” you may be wondering?
It is kind of an old school term, but I really like the meaning and practice of it. Basically, it is dating with intentionality, even being geared toward marriage, instead of dating casually. Courting vs dating can save you a lot of pain in the long run. I look at it as an approach that protects you physically and emotionally. But it is not a popular, well known, or celebrated approach today. I challenge any of you reading this who are in those years of courtship to really think about what it is that you want in a relationship, and what you don’t want. I encourage you to be courageous in the start of relationships about the boundaries and intentions you wish to have. I challenge you to be brave, honest and to protective yourself… You will not regret it!
I knew I didn’t want to date a lot of guys, so when I did find someone I wanted to get to know more (Adam!) I wanted it to be an intentional, thoughtful and careful relationship. Thankfully, Adam felt the same way, so we spent our time developing a solid friendship, truly getting to know each other (lots of talking), and having FUN (hiking, surfing, adventuring).
Unstoppable director, Aaron, thought our approach was pretty unique and special, and asked us to share more about it…
Adam: Because of our shared faith, I saw Bethany as a daughter of Christ and so when we were dating I was respecting her as that, and respecting our boundaries, and respecting that God has called us to be pure and not dabble around in sexuality before marriage. So, through that choice we were really respectful towards each other and created those boundaries early. That made our marriage and matrimony that much more special having saved that for that time.
Me: I think there’s something so special about the way Christ has called us to take getting to know each other seriously. I feel like that physical side of relationships can distract you from actually getting to know each other and so I felt like we really had a unique way of getting to know each other and were able to build a more a solid friendship first.
Everyone’s approach to dating and relationships and boundaries is different, and our shared faith and values played a big part in shaping our approach to our courtship. I wanted to share this piece of our story with you today to give you an example that I feel is largely missing from media and pop culture. As I talked about in a recent post YOU Create Your Environment, we have the power to create our own positive and life-giving environments, and that definitely includes your dating environment. The great news is that every relationship, and even every new day within an existing relationship, is a chance to start fresh in creating the healthy and uplifting environment you deserve.
And if you find that special one to say yes to… keep up the intention, honesty and protection around that relationship for the years to come!
Be Unstoppable by creating, protecting, and owning your relational environments!
Wishing you all lots of LOVE!
p.s. In August 2020 we shared some of Our Love Story with you on the blog as a way to celebrate our 7th anniversary. Check it out if you missed it!
Support the film: Rent or Buy Unstoppable on iTunes, Amazon, Google Play and most other movie outlets.