Is Dating Broken?
Dating With Purpose in 2025: Reclaiming God’s Design for Love
Adam and I recently sat down with our friend Curt to talk about dating in 2025—and wow, there’s a lot to unpack. If you’ve peeked at today’s landscape, you know how easy it is to treat people like profiles and romance like a never-ending scroll. It breaks my heart, because beneath the noise, I meet so many women and men who deeply long for covenant love, a family, and a future that honors God.
Curt put words to what many of us feel: when dating is built on instant gratification and endless options, commitment gets treated like a costume you can take off when the feeling fades. But Scripture calls us to something richer—marriage as a living picture of Christ and His Church. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25, ESV). That is not swipe culture. That’s sacrificial love.
What’s the point of dating?
We asked Curt how he frames dating for his kids and for singles in his community. His answer was beautifully simple: the purpose of dating is to discern—fairly quickly and honestly—whether you can build a life together under God. Not perfection. Not a curated highlight reel. Real character, real repentance, and real alignment around faith, family, and mission.
Genesis says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, ESV). Dating, then, isn’t a consumer search for the “perfect” person; it’s the humble pursuit of a spouse—with eyes wide open to both strengths and sanctification. The aim is not to find someone who fulfills your every preference, but to become someone who can keep promises when preferences change.
The problem with “limitless choice”
Apps can be tools, but tools shape us. Limitless options can train our hearts to expect constant novelty and zero friction. Then, when real-life differences appear (and they will), we’re tempted to “trade up” instead of grow up. That’s why patience and grace are non-negotiables. As Paul says, “Love is patient and kind… it does not insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5, ESV). If our dating patterns don’t practice patience and kindness, we’re rehearsing the opposite of covenant love.
A hopeful counter-culture
We were encouraged to hear about communities trying to flip the script—spaces where the stated goal is marriage, not endless messaging. One story made me smile: a UK woman considered not joining because most members were in the U.S. She joined anyway, met a man outside her area, and they got engaged. Courage, openness to relocate, and clarity of purpose can go a long way.
And to the parent or mentor reading this: your steady presence matters more than you realize. Teach sons to lead with service and daughters to prize men who lay their lives down like Christ. Normalize family discipleship, invite older, godly couples into your teens’ lives, and talk openly about boundaries, community accountability, and the beauty of saving sex for marriage. “Let marriage be held in honor among all” (Hebrews 13:4a, ESV).
“But what about fear—the economy, timing, and not being ‘ready’?”
We hear you. Many people delay marriage because they feel unprepared—emotionally or financially. Preparation is wise, but “ready” can become a moving target that keeps us stuck. Marriage is one of God’s primary classrooms for sanctification. You will grow inside it. And the Lord sees your needs. “I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread” (Psalm 37:25, ESV). That doesn’t erase budgets and prudence; it anchors them in a faithful God.
For singles
Date with clarity. Say up front you’re pursuing marriage. Ask about faith, church, family vision, kids, and stewardship—before chemistry runs the show.
Become a person of promise. Build habits now: prayer, Scripture, church membership, service, financial responsibility, sexual integrity, and teachability. Being a “catch” isn’t about polish; it’s about proven character.
Use tools without being used by them. If you try an app, set boundaries: guard your eyes, involve trusted friends, and move to real conversation and real community quickly.
For parents
Disciple early, often, and aloud. Don’t outsource the conversation. Talk about what a godly husband or wife looks like, and model repentance and forgiveness at home.
Create wise structures. Group settings, double dates, mentors, and family involvement aren’t outdated; they’re loving guardrails.
Pray big prayers. Ask God for spouses who love Jesus, cherish the Church, and will raise the next generation in truth and grace.
Curt’s story reminded me that God delights to redeem our messes. He took a home marked by anger and isolation and, through repentance and the gospel, turned it toward joy, fatherhood, and purpose. That same Jesus is near to you, right now. If your past is tangled or your heart is tired, He isn’t. He is faithful, and His design for marriage is still good.
Let’s be a people who hold marriage in honor, who date with purpose, and who raise sons and daughters ready to keep sacred promises. Christ loves His Bride. May our homes reflect that love.
Two Takeaways
Date on purpose, not on autopilot. The aim of dating is to discern a covenant partner under God—prioritizing faith, character, repentance, and shared mission over preference and novelty.
Build the person who can keep promises. Whether single or parenting, invest in habits of faith, community, accountability, and service so love looks like 1 Corinthians 13 when it costs you something.
