Blueprint for a Strong Family
Hey friends!
We recently sat down with our amazing friends Jason and Tori Benham on the All Things Possible podcast, and wow—it was a conversation full of wisdom, laughter, vulnerability, and God's truth. These two are the real deal. They're passionate about marriages, families, and navigating life’s battles together, not apart. One thing that really stuck with Adam and me was the idea of winning in marriage by waging a war—but together. Shoulder to shoulder, not face to face.
The Benhams shared a powerful story from early in their parenting journey. Their youngest daughter, Lundy, was just five weeks old when she contracted pertussis and ended up in the ICU. As parents, they were desperate—desperate for healing, desperate for peace, and desperate for God to show up. And He did. Lundy made a full recovery, and what could have torn their family apart actually drew them closer. They leaned in instead of checking out. They clung to Jesus and each other.
Jason said something that has stayed with me: “Strength comes through strain.” That’s so true. We don't grow muscles without pressure, and we don’t grow in faith, marriage, or parenting without trials. It’s in the stretching and the straining that God makes us stronger. I’ve experienced this truth in my own life again and again—from surviving a shark attack to becoming a mom of four. Every hard thing has drawn me closer to the Lord and reminded me that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
The Benhams reminded us that the enemy loves to turn our focus inward—pitting us against our spouse, making us frustrated with our kids, distracting us with busy schedules or endless scrolling. But the truth is, we’re not enemies in our homes. We’re teammates. That vision changed everything for them—and for us too.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12 (ESV)
What a powerful picture of partnership. Us, our spouse, and the Lord. That’s the team. And when we keep that vision front and center, the battle we’re fighting becomes one that brings unity, not division.
Another gem from our convo: “The clearer the vision, the fewer the options, the easier the decision.” That’s gold right there. So often, we feel pulled in a million directions—work, kids’ sports, social media, pressures to do and be more. But when we take time to clarify our vision as a couple and a family—when we really ask, “What do we want to build together?”—we can let go of the good to make room for the best.
Tori also encouraged us to ask the Lord each day: “God, who needs me today? What do my people need from me?” That’s a prayer I want to keep close in my mama heart. It’s so easy to run on autopilot, but when we invite the Holy Spirit into our schedule, He makes space where we thought there was none.
And let’s be honest—some days are just rough. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t slept in a decade. But what Jason and Tori helped us see is that even the hardest days are shaping our family. Every “no” we say to busyness or distraction is a “yes” to connection. Every time we make margin, we’re building the anchor memories our kids will carry into adulthood.
Testimonies are born in the battle. And your family story—no matter how messy or strained right now—is being written with every moment you choose to fight for each other instead of with each other.
Two Major Takeaways
1. You’re on the same team.
Don’t forget this. The real enemy isn’t your spouse or your child—it’s the one trying to divide your home. So fight shoulder to shoulder. Pray together. Make decisions with the end goal in mind: unity, faith, and love.
2. Create margin to cultivate connection.
Your best “yes” is the one that aligns with your family’s God-given vision. Let go of what’s unnecessary. Get clear about what matters. Margin is where meaningful conversations, healing moments, and family traditions are born.
Check out the whole conversation here!
Whether your home feels peaceful or chaotic right now, remember this: you’re not alone. God is with you, and He’s not finished writing your story.
With love and grace,
Bethany
