Real Talk For Moms

From Chaos to Connection: Motherhood in Every Season

Motherhood has a way of stretching you—in love, in patience, in humility. And if you're anything like me, you've probably asked yourself more than once, Am I doing this right? Whether you're wrangling toddlers or watching your college-aged daughter walk across a graduation stage, each season of motherhood offers new joys, new challenges, and a fresh opportunity to trust God with every moment.

I recently had the joy of chatting with Kari, mom of four girls, author, encourager of moms, and her words resonated deeply. She’s on the other side of some of the hardest parenting years, and her insight was both affirming and inspiring. Here are a few things she shared that stuck with me.

The Fruit of Faithful Planting

Kari described her current season of motherhood as one of enjoyment and friendship. With two daughters in college, one about to start, and her youngest in high school, she’s entering the coaching and counseling phase. “You start to see the fruit of all the hard work you did when they were little,” she said. That phrase hit home.

So many days when our kids are small feel like a grind—car seats, tantrums, sibling spats, the endless correcting and guiding. It can be easy to wonder if anything we’re doing is sinking in. But Kari reminded us that those early seeds of love, conflict resolution, and grace don’t go unnoticed. They grow. Slowly, sometimes silently, but surely.

Conflict as a Classroom

One of the biggest themes Kari touched on was sibling conflict—and how it’s not just something to survive, but an opportunity to teach kids the art of healthy relationships. “I did a lot of conflict resolution,” she said. “We had conversations constantly.”

Her wisdom about different personalities really struck a chord. One of her daughters was blunt, tough-skinned, and direct. Another was sensitive and empathetic. Teaching each child to understand not only themselves but each other became essential. She would say, “God put y’all together,” reminding them that their differences could actually help each other grow.

And then came the golden nugget: Think it or say it?

This simple phrase, taught to her daughter in a second-grade classroom, became a household staple. Just because you think something doesn’t mean you need to say it. How many of us moms could benefit from that reminder, too?

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” — Colossians 4:6 (ESV)

Grace for the Growing Years

When I asked Kari what helped her during those chaotic early years, she didn’t sugarcoat it. “My hardest year of motherhood was having three kids under the age of four,” she said. She described it as survival mode—but survival mixed with intentionality.

She reflected on mistakes she made, like punishing her blunt daughter too quickly in front of others, and how she wished she’d had more patience, more grace. But that reflection was always anchored in hope: “There’s so much grace,” she said. “We do our best and leave the rest to Him.”

That was such a needed reminder. We don’t have to get it perfect. We just have to be present. Plant seeds. And keep showing up.

Building Adult Villages and Letting Go

As her daughters entered the teenage years, Kari realized she’d made them the center of her universe. And when they began pulling away—as all teenagers do—it left her grasping. She had to learn to reinvest in her marriage, her friendships, and her faith.

Her encouragement? Strengthen your adult village. Let your identity be rooted in Christ, not your children. That way, when your kids go through tough seasons or stop returning hugs, your heart isn’t crushed—it’s grounded.

“Pursue your child’s heart regardless of whether they’re loving you back today,” she said. That’s the heart of parenting through the teenage years.

Two Major Takeaways

1. Conflict is a gift in disguise.
   Every disagreement between siblings—or between you and your child—is an opportunity to teach empathy, communication, and grace. Don’t fear the mess. Teach through it.

2. You are not just a mom—you are a woman loved by God.
   Your identity must be anchored in Christ, not in how your kids behave. Build your adult community. Prioritize your spiritual health. That joy will overflow into your parenting.

Check out the whole conversation here!

Moms, this journey is long and layered. There will be laughter and there will be tears. But through it all, God is faithful. He’s shaping you and your children for purposes far greater than you can see right now.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.” — Psalm 138:8 (ESV)

Keep planting. Keep praying. Keep showing up. You're doing holy work.