One of the best parts about filming the courses for my Unstoppable Life program was getting to spend time with my rad guests…like Bob Goff.
If you missed my introduction, or don’t know who Bob is check out the post Meet Bob Goff. While filming the course Live Your Passion I was also a guest on Bob’s Dream Big podcast and we talked about something really important I want to circle back to today… Navigating Setbacks and Daily Disappointments.
It’s no surprise to anyone that life consistently hands us things we didn’t plan on (hello all of 2020!). Whether it is something really massive and life-changing (like losing my arm when I was 13), or simply the daily disappointments we all face (traffic, missed opportunity, someone letting you down) one of the best skills we can develop and practice daily is – navigating setbacks in a healthy way. Here are some practical ways to navigate frustrations and disappointments that came out of my conversation with Bob:
Faith and Trust.
Bob asked me about dealing with life feeling “unfair,” and to be honest, I don’t really frame it that way. We live in a broken and painful world, so of course we will feel the consequences of that daily. The good news is that God has overcome the world (John 16:33) and if we stick close to Him we can overcome as well. I trust that at the end of the day, whatever I face, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8) so with Him as my consistency in life the ups and downs won’t rattle me as much. Forgiveness also makes all the difference. We can forgive the people and the circumstances that sometimes feel disappointing when we recognize that we have been forgiven. Embracing my own forgiveness helps me to forgive others. We can be set free!
Bob and I both agreed that one of our common reactions to being hurt or disappointed within a relationship is to close up (or to “turtle” as Bob put it). While it is probably better to pull in than to lash out, it can still be damaging to a relationship. Bob suggested the “bookmark” practice. He will ask his wife if they can “put a bookmark in it” and then he will take space before looping back to the conflict. I like that! Taking a step back, or giving something an hour to simmer down, can definitely be helpful in navigating relational disappointments and help lead to a healthier outcome. Just make sure to get back to that bookmark 🙂 or another way to put it, don’t leave it under the rug!
Finally, we talked about the importance of maintaining perspective on a situation. Bob talked about seeking hope and beauty by “lifting our eyes.” Surfing is one way I keep my perspective. For others, it can simply be a walk outside to clear your mind. I think being outside helps us put our setbacks and disappointments in perspective because nature helps remove a lot of distractions. Perspective also comes when you think back on the long-term and remember how you have overcome before, how God was and is present in your setbacks.
Next time a massive set back or a daily disappointment comes your way I encourage you to “bookmark it”, take some time outside to regain perspective, and remember that forgiveness and faith in a consistent God can help you re-frame. With practice, you may even get to the place where you can embrace a frustration and be curious about what new direction, or new thing it could lead you to. Sometimes that new place is simply the beauty of realizing that you can feel peaceful and grateful no matter what may be going on. And remember navigating setbacks may take time so we must be patient!
You can practice overcoming every day and be Unstoppable no matter what life throws your way!