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Crush Self-Doubt /
May 9, 2019

Step 3: Count the Cost

A few thoughts for today from Bethany’s hubby, Adam:

“If you really want something, you’ll go after it.” – Bethany

Now that we know whether our mindset is true or not (Step 2), we have to look at what it costs or how it benefits us to continue believing it.

The pain of missing out on something is motivating, so today, we need to get in touch with the pain of what you’ll lose if you decide to keep this belief and how it’s likely leading to more pain.

My mom suggested we move to the mountains and pick up snowboarding. But it was dreadful to me to imagine life apart from the ocean, apart from surfing. I even toyed around with the idea of being a surf photographer just to still be around the water and the sport. But my strongest desire remained, to keep surfing, and I couldn’t bear to think of a life without it.

Now it’s your turn: Consider the outcome of continuing down the path of your limiting (and possibly unhealthy) mindset.



Grab your pen & paper. Spend 5 minutes or 30 minutes… whatever time you can carve out to invest. Write your thoughts down.


How is this robbing or stealing my life?

Try to get really in touch with the cost of this belief.

Here’s a few examples:
EX A: It’s causing me to lose joy in life and hope that I could ever be truly loved.

EX B: I am continually experiencing pain and fatigue, and also comparing myself to others.


How does this belief affect how I feel about myself?

Consider: How does this steer me to negative emotions? How is this preventing me from being my best? Is this causing me to feel isolated? Depressed?

Here’s a few examples:
EX A: I’ve already begun to put up walls toward those who want to love me and am tormented by bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness.

EX B: I most often feel down about myself.


How does this belief affect my relationships?

Think about specifically: How does it affect my family in 5 years? What would be the cost to pass this belief along to my kids?

Here’s a few examples:
EX A: I’m so focused on this, that its impacting my work and friendships. It makes me so miserable, I definitely wouldn’t want to pass this mentality onto my family, friends or kids.

EX B: This would have an impact on relationships because I’m so consumed with myself that I can’t give the attention to my friends and family like I want to. I want to be able to get on the ground and play with my kids/grandkids, and I don’t want them to grow up in an unhealthy way or thinking negatively about themselves.

This step can be a tough one, but it’ll also really help you determine what’s best for your life going forward.

We’re almost to the half way point on these action steps. These first few steps are often the hardest cause they require some deep reflection in most cases. So hang in there, we’re about to get to the fun part! How are you doing? Are you finding these steps doable for you and helpful on your journey? Email us… We’d love to hear from you.


In case you need to catch up, or if you’re ready to keep going, here’s all 7 Steps:

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