Without a doubt, we will continue to face conflict in our lives.
I know first-hand how rewarding and beautiful relationships can be, but they can be super challenging at times too!
I was so stoked to talk about the topic of conflict in my ‘Ohana Live Call. Learning how to navigate conflict, especially with those you love, is one of the most valuable lessons we can learn. Girls, it will set you up to be a better future roommate, friend, teammate, coworker and wife, when that day comes!
Christine Cashen brought practical tips, a great perspective and a lot of laughter to this sometimes delicate topic. Christine has been speaking for over 20 years and was inducted into the Speaker Hall of Fame! She’s also the author of two award-winning books – The Good Stuff: Tips and Quips on Life, Love, Work and Happiness and It’s Your Business: Good Stuff for Your Personal, Professional and Funny Business.
Christine is on a mission to “stop global whining” and travels the world teaching about conflict resolution and how to add humor and joy to your daily life.
One of her biggest reminders to us was to go out of our way to encourage and uplift others throughout each day. This will prevent a lot of conflict from happening in the first place!
When conflict does happen and you get frustrated with someone, it’s so important to check yourself before you say anything.
Christine has an awesome and easy-to-remember acronym for this called H.A.L.T.
When Conflict Arises, H.A.L.T. and ask yourself:
H – Am I Hungry?
A – Am I Angry?
L – Am I Lonely?
T – Am I Tired?
Here’s a video of Christine talking about this more:
I love this because if we pause and ask these questions in the moment, it will help us not to get carried away and say something we regret later! Sometimes you might need a little snack or a deep breath and then you’ll be able to think more clearly about how to respond to the situation.
Christine also had some other amazing tips to help us minimize conflict and have beautiful relationships.
- Don’t point fingers if you’re frustrated with someone. Start sentences with “I noticed…”, “Can you help me with…” or “I was wondering if…” instead of “You always…” or “You never…”.
- Give grace! People aren’t always going to do what you want. Expect that to happen and roll with it when it does. When you give people grace, you get more grace!
I loved Christine’s perspective – we can encourage others and work through conflict in a great way! It’s so worth it!