I get cheered on a lot for “doing it all” – having a surfing career, being a speaker, running my own business, several books and films, and being a full time wife and mom. The truth is I don’t do it all…and I certainly don’t do it all by myself.
I have help and I have boundaries.
I have tons of support from my amazing husband. We are a parenting team and we work together! We are constantly conspiring how to best love and raise our boys, while also giving each other the space to pursue our own passions and interests and needs. I also have a family that cheers me on and helps me out, and a team of like-minded, like-hearted people behind me. I believe there is a team behind every “Super Girl” you know. I’ve recently talked on the blog about how we are all Better Together and who you surround yourself with matters.
I am also a BIG believer in boundaries.
I set healthy boundaries with my sport, and all my other endeavors, so that it doesn’t steal from my children. I am all for pursuing your passions, but not at the expense of your children (or other important relationships). The message the culture often sends women that “you can still do everything as a mom” just isn’t true. With any relationship, but especially motherhood, there is sacrifice, compromise and balance.
I had a profound conversation with Kate Merrick in the Unstoppable Life Course, Be Present, where Kate learned, as she sat with her dying young daughter, that being present with our kids and investing in their lives is a God given gift and is THE MOST IMPORTANT and precious investment we can be making in life. I completely agree!
We have a unique life that allows me to surf and speak professionally and still be a full time mom (as you saw in my 2019 film, Unstoppable), but that could change tomorrow and we would have to reevaluate because “doing it all” is not my goal.
If I travel, we all travel.
My goal is to pursue my passions in a way that does not take away from my family and I venture to guess that any other “Wonder Women” you know (or see on social media) also have a lot of help, are constantly renegotiating the family plan, and (I hope) have healthy boundaries that help her family thrive.
My goal is to pursue my passions in a way that does not take away from my family
On top of all that, God calls me to love my neighbor and that starts in my home with my husband and children, so they are my first priority. I know I won’t regret this as my priority even if the culture is saying otherwise. And if you’re in a position where you can totally invest in your family – I hope you can feel amazing about that!! What a blessing to your loved ones!
Ladies, let’s all take the pressure off each other to “do it all” and be “wonder woman” and instead help each other out, respect each other’s boundaries, cheer each other on, and embrace that being present in your beautiful life is a better goal in the long run.